Witnessing Renewal - Letters from the Founder of Restoration Place Counseling

The Best Valentine Ever

February 14th, 2012 by Cindy - 5 Responses

It’s official. The Day of Love has arrived.

For those who have that special someone, a romantic partner who makes your heart smile, there may be no better holiday than Valentine’s Day. But for singles, the appearance of red heart-shaped boxes does anything but make your heart smile. I admit that, in the past, I would be one who changed the name of the infamous love day to Singles Awareness Day (or S.A.D. as some might call it). I resented February 14 and anyone who dared utter the words, “Happy Valentine’s Day” to me.

Thankfully, those days are gone, but not because my marital status has changed. I’m still single. And those who know me know that one of the deepest longings of my heart is still to be married one day. I believe the sacred relationship of marriage is one of the primary vehicles God uses to heal our deepest soul wounds. Bev and Tom Rodgers, Christian counselors in Charlotte, NC, and the authors of Soul Healing Love state, “Marriage is the hardest piece of work the soul will ever do….and perhaps the most rewarding!” There is something beautifully mysterious about the bond of marriage.

So I hope to have the chance to experience this soul healing love one day…. preferably before it’s time to sign up for the retirement home. Just seems like it would be more fun while I still have all my teeth. Therefore, I continue to pray and wait, and for the most part, I’m quite content with the single life God has led me to for now. Except for the weekends.

The weekends can seem really lonely. And while I enjoy the rest and reprieve from a very fast-paced week, the quiet can seem almost…. well, too quiet. But you see, what seems to be is often not what is. I was reminded of this not too long ago when I skipped church one Sunday to get an early start on painting my living room. (Shhh, don’t tell!!)

I had actually been painting all weekend, needing to have the room ready for delivery of my new furniture. And I had continued to think on how much more fun it would be to do a project with the one you love, side by side. So by Sunday morning, I had worked myself into a fit of self-pity and was feeling significantly sorry for myself. Nonetheless, I decided to turn on some praise music (probably out of guilt for skipping church!), but whatever the motivation, I began to hear with my heart the words of each song*…

Covered by a love divine, child of the risen Lord,
to hear You say “This one’s mine”,
My heart is spoken for…

and then,

How deep the Father’s love for us,
how vast beyond all measure,
that He would give His only Son
to make a wretch His treasure…

And as I began to pray that the Lord would remind me in that moment how much I was loved by Him….that I really was completing a project with “the One” who loves me more than anyone… something on my paint rag caught my eye. As I finished wiping a drop of paint from the edge of my brush, I looked at the towel in my hand and this is what I saw…

Coincidence?  Maybe. But I tend to think it was a love note, just for me. My prayer is that, whether you have an earthly love or not, you will know and experience the deep, deep love of God this Valentine’s Day.

“For the Lord your God is living among you.
He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”
Zephaniah 3:17 (NLT)


* “Spoken For” by MercyMe from the album Spoken For; “How Great the Father’s Love for Us” by Stuart Townend

This post was first published in July 2011, then updated as an article published in Guilford Woman Magazine (February 2012)





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  • Anonymous

    I can totally relate. I’ve thought valentines was over rated for years, still do. So I can relate to that part of your post. Although I will admit today that seeing the differently abled getting excited about it somewhat redeemed the day for me. I’ve been single for years, and knowing my luck I will be single for years to come. Valentines Day is rather depressing over all.

    I try to remember that not being in a relationship doesn’t matter….but it’s a struggle. I never realized that you were single, and waiting as well. Sometimes its nice to remember that I know someone else who is in the waiting period as well, when it seems like most everyone else my age is already married and has kids. Always wanted a family, but it doesn’t seem to be in the cards for me. And honestly with all my problems, it’s probably best that I don’t pass it on to kids anyway.

    • Denine120

      Deanna, praying right now for God’s continued healing in your heart and life, and that when you look in the mirror, you’ll see the BEAUTY He created you to be. And declaring that the only thing you’ll pass onto your kids is a love for God and His work!

      Me-also single, almost forty, and though I struggle at times too, I do value what God allows me to do as a single woman. Will wait for the man, if it’s God’s will, for whom I’m willing to surrender my singleness!

      • Denine, you make my heart smile! When do you turn 40? I can’t remember if I’m 43 or 44.

        I love your last statement: “Will wait for the man, if it’s God’s will, for whom I’m willing to surrender my singleness!” Girl, it’s gonna have to be a really special man!! The older I get, the more I know that. 🙂

        February 20 is right around the corner. That would be 7 years since the living room meeting. Can you believe??

        • Anonymous

          Yes, it would have to be a special man for you. One who can appreciate your vision, and who cherishes you and all your gifts…but preferably one who cherishes God even more, so that He can truly be a Godly leader for you. I know that God must have someone truly special out there for you.

      • Anonymous

        Thank You Denine. I guess I haven’t found what God wants me to do as a single woman. I’m still trying to find my place in this world and that includes where I am meant to work and bring my own unique gifts to the world, and not feel so terribly out of place.

        I often don’t feel like I am doing God much justice in my daily life. I’ve spent many years just struggling to get through the day. Now I am learning to enjoy the day, but doubt that I am doing anything of eternal value with my life.

        I’m going to learn though how to use the gifts I was given to make a difference, one day.